this is a holy moment now

Romans 12:12

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."

so thankful

Haha. First thought. I am thankful to have this blog. It reminds of the good old xanga days when I would just jot my thoughts down before having to go somewhere or do something. So yes. Thankful that I started this blog (even though some people think blogs are only for bipolar people. ahem)

Moving on. I am at this moment very thankful to God, for my calling. Not that I know exactly everything God's calling me towards. But that conviction I had about 7 months ago now, that I just radically obeyed without really even understanding for what purpose other than feeling "God wants it" is just getting re- and reinforced. I shall elaborate.

So honestly, when I say that it's been a crazy 3+ months this year, I really mean it. HAH. Crazy in different ways. But one crazy part is what some people might call the "senior scramble"? LOL. At first I was just like "what the heck..what is going on in this world?!?" But now I feel the dust is slowly settling after the stampede of people kicking all over the place, trying to get their foot in somewhere. Digust. HAHA jk. At first I think I felt a little lost in the chaos. Where was my heart in all of this? Protected thank God! Being refined by all the big and little burns. It is after all, His furnace I'm being refined in. I'm not gonna lie, it is not always easy being on a path that seems so opposite of where the "world" is going (haha this super tiny microcosm of relationships). At first, seeing people going down other paths made me wonder if I wanted to follow my own. God had made MY path clear, but it had gotten a little cloudy (probably from all the dust. HA) And then of course there was the feeling of "noo, come on this path with me!!" But now...

I am so thankful to be on my path. I'm not looking down on anyone else's paths. Just glad and thankful to be on mine. And I'm excited to walk further ahead with God. Hehe, and yet again I am reminded of something that I learned while in India (always!)

[From John 21:15-25] me paraphrasing...
Jesus: "Do you love me?"
If I want him/her to_____what is that to you? YOU come and follow me."

Alright. Gotta catch the tram. Good day!

bitterSWEET

Today's KCM chapel was SO good. Palm Sunday was wonderful. Today all the 2K9 Stsmers officially found out their teams/teammates. HOW EXCITING! Makes me remember everything wonderful about India/STSM 2K8. I know that india team we joke about how we'll never die but HONESTLY, I have this crazy deep love for my india team and for stsm 2k8 in general. And even though we're not all super-updated in each other's lives, the flames are so readily rekindled. Or at least it is to me. It's a beautiful gift from God.

2009 is gonna be a crazy year. It's already been a crazy 3+ months. God has some crazy plans for this year. CRAZY CRAZY!


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HAHA so I realized that I've got more to say...

But first I am very curious to know who reads this thing. Tell me! Alas, that is my downfall. My curiosity is the death of me. But I still want to know. HAHA. I wish some people had blogs because I am especially curious what goes in the minds of certain people. I guess I could just ask them what they're thinking but sometimes it's not my place and I cant really make them share with me. I'm sure people are curious too. For the record I am not offended by questions. (Or have yet to be anyway) So feel free to drop a question whenever. Whatevs.

i'll think of a title later

What is going on this world today? Even in just this little mini-bubble I'm living in, there seems to be so much going on. Pshh at the surface level its nonsense, and then at a deeper level there's brokenness and hunger for more, and then even deeper than that I feel is God waiting for us to come before Him. Just waiting for us to ask of Him the things we need, want, and were made for. Not waiting to judge but to forgive, and more than forgive to transform, out of His AWESOME POWER AND LOVE FOR US to His Glory!! Haha

I think everyone likes or tends to stay in one of the upper levels. For some it's comfortable not to think about the deep and "depressing" things. And for others (including old Eurri) they tend stay in the broken stage, dwelling on the helplessness and seeming hopelessness of it all. I must admit that I tread in the upper two levels alot. But in God there is so much depth. Haha really. God's love is so deep. It reaches from heaven to earth to the deepest cavities of our souls.

Haha so this past weekend when the UC's were still on break Eumi came over to stay a night at my apartment and she like forced me to sing this song so she could harmonize to it. LOL. But the words are so beautiful. So I will share =]

I cant understand this work of grace
how a perfect God would come and take my place

Stars they dont move you, Waves cant undo you, Mountains and splendor
they cannot steal your heart

God who is holy, perfect in beauty
Awesome in glory, is ravished by my heart

[chorus]
Though I'm dark you say I am lovely
Though I'm poor you say I am beautiful

some how my weakness has overwhelmed you.
somehow my weak love it has stolen away your heart.


Hope you know that THAT is true of you. HAHA have a blessed week!