it's a new day

So mama choi since the day I was born practically has always said these Godly phrases to me. "Jesus love you" "I pray for you EVERYday" "It's a new day, my girl" "Take it easy" AHAHA jk I duno if that last one is Godly but I'm realizing what a true blessing it is to have a parent that has such a real relationship with Christ. Before, I used to just see her as my mom but dang I can see Holy Spirit in her. And it's amazing.

Just one example of her being a light in my life. If you look at my family's history, you'd see a trend of sucky holidays. And this past winter break my dad was being an ass to my mom and saying hateful things and I remember talking to her about it the next day. And she was saying that yea of course sometimes she feels like bearing that grudge and dwelling on the things he said to her the day before. She can feel her sinful nature trying to take over. But then the spirit always tells her that "it's a new day," a new day to love. And she really lives it. Man. Maybe you'd have to know my family to know how insane that is, because it's almost been a constant thing. And sinful people you know we'd get fed up. We'd say we cant' handle that kind of stuff anymore, we're tired. It's not fair. But the cross is not fair. Jesus was not fair. More than fair, it's grace. We ask Jesus should we forgive seven times and He says seventy seven times.

So today is a new day. A new day to embrace grace and to love. But that's impossible for us to do without Christ. He is the vine we are the branches. Without being connected to Him we have no life, we cannot bear fruit.

Thank you God.

what?how?why?

What am i supposed to do with myself?

I am in a knot. Just stuck, and confused. Bah, I really dont know how to feel.

=]

happy post to come! I promise =)

heartbreak

You can have heartbreak over a lot of things.
Family. Friendships. Circumstance. Relationship. And each type feels a little bit different.

I've just recently discovered the last one. It feels like your heart has exploded and tiny pieces of it are floating around in space. And during that fragile state of fragmentation a lot of different things can suddenly take hold of a piece of your heart. But because it's broken nothing/no one can really hold all of it.

Thankfully, God is bigger than space. He is big enough to hold all the pieces.

more than this

There must be more than this...

God wants more than this. I want more than this.
There must be more than this!

Haha. Can you tell the difference between the first line and the third line?

battery's about to die. And sometimes you just gotta do instead of writing about doing anyway~ PEACE