friend: "it aint dead, it's sleeping. Deep korean-drama coma"
time to wake up?
Eurs Truly in Africa was like the sequel. Maybe I'll complete this trilogy with Eurs Truly in Boston
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Geez Louise
It feels like a loong time since the last time I blogged. All my most recent efforts and mind have been focused on getting my mission trip to Zimbabwe off the ground. For a while it felt like a heavy load to push. But now I am realizing that it was really my heart that was heavy.
There is more I'd like to share on that. But for now I will leave you with...
Did you know I started a travel blog??
http://eurri-zimbabwe.blogspot.com/
If you care to know, please follow! =] Good day~
Friday, December 4, 2009
The Wonderful Cross, indeed
Man o man! what is up with this season of my life JESUS??
so lately (meaning past couple of months or so) God has just been crushing me with a greater sense of my fallen-ness, in the "I CANT DO ANYTHING (on my own)" sense and not just mine but like the fallen-ness of humanity. Just the brokenness and weight of sin, not just the "sad" part about it but like the wow, it's so deep and it's so far from God's perfection, His Holiness. And the more I realize how steeped we are in sin, I also realize dang what a crazy thing the cross is and what it did. What a crazy God to DO that! Makes you like shake your head, or wanna fall on your face! HAHAA.
And just today, I realized another crazy thing about the cross that we call marvelous. [But whenever I would sing those songs about the cross it didnt really seem that wonderful to me. I mean yes sorta, but now it's even more amazingly so]
So, if you know me. I usually like to listen to other people's burdens. Like i know some people dont like to share their struggles because they dont want to burden others, but I actually dont mind. But then, just lately, I've found that wow some burdens I really cant carry because they truly feel burdensome to me. {These are usually only the ones that I'm somehow involved in and are the ongoing, seemingly unresolvable conflicts} Not that I dont want to hear them though. But it just made me realize something...
That the brokenness of sin is something really heavy.
And makes me think back to the cross. We sing
You took my sin upon Your shoulders
or Love that takes the weight of the world
Almost makes me want to cuss is how crazy that is. AHAHAHA jk MY GOD Forgive us when we sing "worship" so meaninglessly. Forgive us that we're either too ignorant, selfish, jaded, or stupid (sinful) to understand the cross. Have mercy Father!
Open up our hearts that we would know you
so lately (meaning past couple of months or so) God has just been crushing me with a greater sense of my fallen-ness, in the "I CANT DO ANYTHING (on my own)" sense and not just mine but like the fallen-ness of humanity. Just the brokenness and weight of sin, not just the "sad" part about it but like the wow, it's so deep and it's so far from God's perfection, His Holiness. And the more I realize how steeped we are in sin, I also realize dang what a crazy thing the cross is and what it did. What a crazy God to DO that! Makes you like shake your head, or wanna fall on your face! HAHAA.
And just today, I realized another crazy thing about the cross that we call marvelous. [But whenever I would sing those songs about the cross it didnt really seem that wonderful to me. I mean yes sorta, but now it's even more amazingly so]
So, if you know me. I usually like to listen to other people's burdens. Like i know some people dont like to share their struggles because they dont want to burden others, but I actually dont mind. But then, just lately, I've found that wow some burdens I really cant carry because they truly feel burdensome to me. {These are usually only the ones that I'm somehow involved in and are the ongoing, seemingly unresolvable conflicts} Not that I dont want to hear them though. But it just made me realize something...
That the brokenness of sin is something really heavy.
And makes me think back to the cross. We sing
You took my sin upon Your shoulders
or Love that takes the weight of the world
Almost makes me want to cuss is how crazy that is. AHAHAHA jk MY GOD Forgive us when we sing "worship" so meaninglessly. Forgive us that we're either too ignorant, selfish, jaded, or stupid (sinful) to understand the cross. Have mercy Father!
Open up our hearts that we would know you
Monday, November 30, 2009
Friday, October 30, 2009
Quotes
I have for a long time wanted to start a collection of quotes (inspired from 'A Walk to Remember..LOL) HAHA.. but I really have and in my mind I have been collecting.. from the bible, from peoples wall of quotes on facebook, from random things I read.
Just because they can have all sorts of effects on people. Some are just silly, others sweet, and others super profound. Maye even life-changing. So the below quotes have had one of these effects on me and who knows what kind of effect they will have on you?
"For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." -Hebrews 4:12
"Always be kinder than necessary, because every person you meet is struggling through some kind of battle."
"Dont let the fear of striking out prevent you from playing the game." -This and the one above first seen on Calvin Feng's fb
"A woman's heart should be so lost in God, that a man needs to seek the Lord to find her." -first seen on katie's fb i think..
"There's not much you can be sure of in this world, but one thing's for sure: Forrest Gump would have done anything for Jenny." -Yong's most recent blog post
"Sometimes people can get so "heavenly-minded" that they're no earthly good" -Pamela Jourden
"It's better to love than to be right" -Pamela Jourden
"Wanting to be understood is so overrated, what about being right?!" -p. sam (cch) HAHA
"Change is not a requirement for God's love, but a response to to it" -old school p. sam
p.s this is still a work in progress, eventually going to be written down and just maybe...passed on to my lover who will then give it to my child after I'm dead. HAHA jk. But yes these were the only ones i could think of off the top of my head, so I might have paraphrased. If you know the real wording, feel free to correct. Or if you have a bomb quote, do share and i will add it to the book =]
Just because they can have all sorts of effects on people. Some are just silly, others sweet, and others super profound. Maye even life-changing. So the below quotes have had one of these effects on me and who knows what kind of effect they will have on you?
"For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." -Hebrews 4:12
"Always be kinder than necessary, because every person you meet is struggling through some kind of battle."
"Dont let the fear of striking out prevent you from playing the game." -This and the one above first seen on Calvin Feng's fb
"A woman's heart should be so lost in God, that a man needs to seek the Lord to find her." -first seen on katie's fb i think..
"There's not much you can be sure of in this world, but one thing's for sure: Forrest Gump would have done anything for Jenny." -Yong's most recent blog post
"Sometimes people can get so "heavenly-minded" that they're no earthly good" -Pamela Jourden
"It's better to love than to be right" -Pamela Jourden
"Wanting to be understood is so overrated, what about being right?!" -p. sam (cch) HAHA
"Change is not a requirement for God's love, but a response to to it" -old school p. sam
p.s this is still a work in progress, eventually going to be written down and just maybe...passed on to my lover who will then give it to my child after I'm dead. HAHA jk. But yes these were the only ones i could think of off the top of my head, so I might have paraphrased. If you know the real wording, feel free to correct. Or if you have a bomb quote, do share and i will add it to the book =]
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
LA DEE DAA~
I am at the library...taking a break from studying. Everyone at the table is taking their turns losing steam and then falling asleep in their chair and then back to concentrate mode again. HAHA it is my turn to waste 5-10 min or so =] But since I aint got no twitter to write about my useless moment-to-moments. I will turn to my beloved blog <3
I have been meaning to write more. I ALMOST wrote this crazy emotional blog yesterday. But RIGHT as I was about to hit 'publish' I was like "Waait...am i gonna regret this one?" So i just saved it and didnt put it on here. Yes I think it was the right move. Haha these days I am really trying to be sober-minded. Cus being emo/emotional/filled with emotion (not good ones) can usually lead to some poor, unncessary, regrettable judgement aaand decisions.
Indeed.
Oright. Back to studying I go! KABLAAM!
I have been meaning to write more. I ALMOST wrote this crazy emotional blog yesterday. But RIGHT as I was about to hit 'publish' I was like "Waait...am i gonna regret this one?" So i just saved it and didnt put it on here. Yes I think it was the right move. Haha these days I am really trying to be sober-minded. Cus being emo/emotional/filled with emotion (not good ones) can usually lead to some poor, unncessary, regrettable judgement aaand decisions.
Indeed.
Oright. Back to studying I go! KABLAAM!
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Burning
"God be the solution" -Hillsong
Lately, as in the past few years, but especially this year I've been learning just HOW hurtful and poisonous gossip is. This past Sunday I was in class with my 7th-8th graders and we were talking about gossip.
Often we think "but it's just venting" or "im not the one who said it/started the rumor/lied, I'm just saying what i heard" or "is it a sin if I thought it was the truth but it turned out that it wasnt"
Yea. It's all sin. HAHA. I call it "poisoning each other's minds." If you hadn't already noticed, our minds are quite impressionable. And honestly, hearing things (good/bad) about someone changes the way we view that person --> how we treat that person. O yes, the way you feel about someone WILL show and others WILL notice and others WILL be affected.
Ah, but the best one, the sneakiest (Satan's favorite kinds)
"it's just my opinion, I can have an opinion." HAH.
Yes of course opinions are allowed. But I'ma just go out on a limb and say that if we're truly seeking to be Christlike and actually LIVE out what the bible says, not just preach it to people while having no integrity, then we ought to strive for a higher standard. Haha what's one of the fruits of the Spirit? Self control. Control your crazy and reckless desire to spew out your opinions. Yea it's freaking hard, but it's the better thing. I am learning it too.
Ok. Haha I am praying and asking for discernment LORD! Please, tell me if confrontation is necessary. Because oowee I have had my share of BAD ones when they weren't guided by your Spirit. Help me listen patiently for your wisdom, and as I wait please give me peace in my heart, cus I'm burning.
Lately, as in the past few years, but especially this year I've been learning just HOW hurtful and poisonous gossip is. This past Sunday I was in class with my 7th-8th graders and we were talking about gossip.
Often we think "but it's just venting" or "im not the one who said it/started the rumor/lied, I'm just saying what i heard" or "is it a sin if I thought it was the truth but it turned out that it wasnt"
Yea. It's all sin. HAHA. I call it "poisoning each other's minds." If you hadn't already noticed, our minds are quite impressionable. And honestly, hearing things (good/bad) about someone changes the way we view that person --> how we treat that person. O yes, the way you feel about someone WILL show and others WILL notice and others WILL be affected.
Ah, but the best one, the sneakiest (Satan's favorite kinds)
"it's just my opinion, I can have an opinion." HAH.
Yes of course opinions are allowed. But I'ma just go out on a limb and say that if we're truly seeking to be Christlike and actually LIVE out what the bible says, not just preach it to people while having no integrity, then we ought to strive for a higher standard. Haha what's one of the fruits of the Spirit? Self control. Control your crazy and reckless desire to spew out your opinions. Yea it's freaking hard, but it's the better thing. I am learning it too.
Ok. Haha I am praying and asking for discernment LORD! Please, tell me if confrontation is necessary. Because oowee I have had my share of BAD ones when they weren't guided by your Spirit. Help me listen patiently for your wisdom, and as I wait please give me peace in my heart, cus I'm burning.
Thoughts
1. Retreat...
My first adult retreat. Meaning my first retreat with all of CCH, including all the EM folk including their families. It was something special that's for sure. Very much not what i expected. A lot happened and I learned a lot. Twas a very personal experience. I would share but it's quite long and I have to provide the background story for it to be significant.
But I will give the outline version
2. Africa...
It's just always in the back of my mind. Planning on leaving in early January for midterm (6 months) in Zimbabwe. I should start asking for prayer now. I feel like God is preparing me...BUT I'll probably still get wrecked. So yes, PLEASE PRAY FOR ME!!
My first adult retreat. Meaning my first retreat with all of CCH, including all the EM folk including their families. It was something special that's for sure. Very much not what i expected. A lot happened and I learned a lot. Twas a very personal experience. I would share but it's quite long and I have to provide the background story for it to be significant.
But I will give the outline version
- CCH seems to be redefining what it means to be a community centered on Christ
- had a conversation with a brother who in one sitting encouraged me, reconciled alota stuff for me that I doubt he realizes, humbled me, and challenged me. Dang. Crazy for sure...HAHA
- Made me think about Esther and Mordecai.
- Getting ready to love hard, when it's hard. "You just gotta humble yourself"
2. Africa...
It's just always in the back of my mind. Planning on leaving in early January for midterm (6 months) in Zimbabwe. I should start asking for prayer now. I feel like God is preparing me...BUT I'll probably still get wrecked. So yes, PLEASE PRAY FOR ME!!
Monday, October 5, 2009
LOL
| so a few entries ago i shared about how my mom recently learned how to use internet. And since then she has been emailing me, eumi, and my brother daily devotionals. She just copies the bible verse from The Daily Bread (which we've gotten since before I was born. It's seriously one of the constants in my life) But tonight's email was great. I will share. p.s My mom calls reading the Daily Bread devotionals "eating the foods" | ||
Hi chidrens,how are you? now I feel much ,look like back to normal, I just came back from beautiful 70' year birthday party,one of church member It was outdoor ganden party music was so good ! piano violin chello , lots of flowers nice decoration,best things I like worship part It was well design you know who was , He was vitamin lady's husband. anyway it was good time. by the way ,your father getting s/s benefit from now on he recieving $1060 q.month,he is very happy,Let's eat foods Distottion Your faith should not be in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God.[1 Corinthins2;5] this mortal life is far too brief,eternity too vast, to follow human sophistries and lose the soul at last good night ...... please pray for eurri's exam.10-29-09 ok.
| ||
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Today...
what the.. why is there a slice of cake on my blog dashboard? Anyone else notice that ?
Today I got owned in youth group. I dont know why but it seems that all the teachers just had a super hard time tonight at bible study. It was one of those "wow what am i doing here, someone else can do such a better job" wanting to quit kinda moments. ALMOST wanted to cry because I felt so discouraged. But thank Holy Spirit for saving me. And reminding me that God is pleased with faithfulness, not success.
Today I was humbly reminded that I am straight up worthless as a teacher. Dang. I am in such need of Holy Spirit to work in and through me. But I am really thankful. These "Wow, I suck" moments bring us to our knees in prayer.
In other news...
Tis the season to be _____.
Is it just me? Or do people get real emo during holiday season? Something about the cold? Haha you know what I think it is. Tis the season where brokenness is revealed. Loneliness, brokenness in families, feeling of being unloved. It just gets expressed in all sorts of forms. Wanting a gf/bf, hating the holidays, being bitter. Maybe if you're really expressive in one of these areas you are broken? We're all broken. The holidays just seem to bring it out more. People think more or something this season as opposed to lazy/busy summer time? I realized that alota times when people get emo they think "it's stupid, I just need to get over it." Maybe! But if it's something that comes up again and again then no dude. You dont need to JUST get over it. You need to ADDRESS it. Bring that crap into the light and be freed. From someone who has had a history of struggling with random "emo" moments, let me tell you that there is a root. And instead of shaving it off at the surface you need to laser that sucker out! Into Marvelous Light I'm running. the marvelous laser light of God. Yes, lasers burn. But God has some mighty healing powers. Mighty indeed.
Tis the season to be jolly
Today I got owned in youth group. I dont know why but it seems that all the teachers just had a super hard time tonight at bible study. It was one of those "wow what am i doing here, someone else can do such a better job" wanting to quit kinda moments. ALMOST wanted to cry because I felt so discouraged. But thank Holy Spirit for saving me. And reminding me that God is pleased with faithfulness, not success.
Today I was humbly reminded that I am straight up worthless as a teacher. Dang. I am in such need of Holy Spirit to work in and through me. But I am really thankful. These "Wow, I suck" moments bring us to our knees in prayer.
In other news...
Tis the season to be _____.
Is it just me? Or do people get real emo during holiday season? Something about the cold? Haha you know what I think it is. Tis the season where brokenness is revealed. Loneliness, brokenness in families, feeling of being unloved. It just gets expressed in all sorts of forms. Wanting a gf/bf, hating the holidays, being bitter. Maybe if you're really expressive in one of these areas you are broken? We're all broken. The holidays just seem to bring it out more. People think more or something this season as opposed to lazy/busy summer time? I realized that alota times when people get emo they think "it's stupid, I just need to get over it." Maybe! But if it's something that comes up again and again then no dude. You dont need to JUST get over it. You need to ADDRESS it. Bring that crap into the light and be freed. From someone who has had a history of struggling with random "emo" moments, let me tell you that there is a root. And instead of shaving it off at the surface you need to laser that sucker out! Into Marvelous Light I'm running. the marvelous laser light of God. Yes, lasers burn. But God has some mighty healing powers. Mighty indeed.
Tis the season to be jolly
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Sex and the Church
Wouldn't it be interesting if there really was a newspaper column called "Sex and the Church" (instead of Sex and the City) I bet so many people would read it
Anyway this past Sunday we had a guest speaker come in to our youth group while our pastor was out of town. And when I went to introduce myself and welcome her before worship started she seemed very nice and mild. But DANG, when she went up to speak she was like FIRE. I was so shocked. She's worked in youth groups all around the world and in that one sermon she talked about murder, sex, pornography. HAHA the youth kids must have been like =O But you know what? I really liked it.
That Sunday I realized that our church, like most korean churches (and korean culture in general) I'd day, is very conservative. We do not talk about SEX or PORN or MASTURBATION!! Goodness gracious no! In our korean church culture we cringe even saying/hearing those words.
This season of my life I've been asking God to help me understand the Word more, like foreals. You know in the song “Heart of worship” there’s a line that says I’m sorry Lord for the thing I made it. And it’s so true. A lot of times a lot of us twist the word. But I don’t want my experiences, opinions, my church to be the filter for the Bible. It’s gotta be the other way around. The BIBLE is the standard! And recently I’ve been meditating on Psalm 119:34-36. I will share
Give me understanding and I will keep your law and obey it with all my heart. Direct me in the path of your commands, for there I find delight. Turn my heart toward your statues and not toward selfish gain. Turn my eyes away from worthless things; preserve my life according to your word.
Mmm yes. I don’t want the worthless things. I want abundant life!
I’ve also been praying (esp because of youth group) that God would make me a pure vessel for his truth and his love. You know what I mean? I mean there’s the “Eurri” version of what she knows about God’s love and the bible, but my version only taints it. I want God to make me pure so I can be a less clogged artery for His life-giving blood. Haha.
Ok, so basically I’ve been asking God to help me understand the Bible for what it really says and I’ve been asking God to make me pure.
Now with all that going on, I found a book in my house that I totally forgot I ever had, which I just started reading. My youth group teacher gave it to our whole class back in high school. The book is called “QUESTIONS you cant ask your Mama about SEX” and it’s basically a bunch of sex questions answered biblically. It’s really interesting and it makes me laugh out loud sometimes because it’s super straight forward and sarcastic at times. And isn’t it interesting that I find this because HOW many times does the bible talk about “sexual immorality” specifically. Yet how much of that do I really understand or hear about in church? (Again the church can’t be the filter for the bible) So really what is sexual immorality? What is it??
The book I’m reading talks about God’s calling to Holiness and with that comes purity and with that comes sexual purity. And one thing I thought was really interesting is that it says ‘virginity does not equal purity. Many Christians maintain their virginity technically, yet live hedonistic lifestyles. Purity is a lifestyle.’ So basically there are Christians who may not be a virgin but who are more pure than you. Hm.
It’s crazy. Haha. Man, some of the questions asked in this book are like RIDICULOUS. But to answer the previous question just in case you didn’t know and wanted to they summarize it like this “if it’s used to cause arousal, it’s sexual.” But again, it’s not just about sex. It’s about God’s command for us to be holy because He is holy.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Wrecked
Today I got into my first car accident ever. Man it sucked. But me and my car are fine, mostly (unlike my suggestive title) Hehe but it was still a shock. If you've ever been smashed or the smasher then you know what I'm talking about. Even now as I'm writing this entry my outside is fine but my insides are still calming down. I cant really explain the feeling any other way. Like the the hit shook my whole body and then starting from the outside in my cells stop shaking. So my skin is totally calm, but like my liver is still quivering just a tad bit. HAHA is that weird? whatever!
Other people seemed to have a crummy day today too. And by crummy I mean like crumbling, being broken, getting wrecked. It made me wonder about God and why He wrecks us. I mean yes the obvious answers are "because He loves us" and "for His glory" (which I dont doubt by the way) But I did wonder why he gets the most glory by wrecking us? Again the answer that automatically jumps into mind is "because when we're brought low and humbled, God receives the most glory" But I still wondered. Unlike my other conclusive blog entries though I dont have an answer for this one, except that...
it's good =]
Other people seemed to have a crummy day today too. And by crummy I mean like crumbling, being broken, getting wrecked. It made me wonder about God and why He wrecks us. I mean yes the obvious answers are "because He loves us" and "for His glory" (which I dont doubt by the way) But I did wonder why he gets the most glory by wrecking us? Again the answer that automatically jumps into mind is "because when we're brought low and humbled, God receives the most glory" But I still wondered. Unlike my other conclusive blog entries though I dont have an answer for this one, except that...
it's good =]
Friday, September 4, 2009
O Mother
So my mom recently started taking computer classes from someone at my church. Here is an email she sent me
"I will go to mission trip on china 9/20/09--9/30/09 I also have to go to Nashville 9/17--/9/20/09 It is litter too much for me but I do not have choice this time September 3, 2009, 11:10 pm I am still practicing computer ha ha ha….. Good nightt"
A tidbit of my mom. She seriously cracks me up. I have so much fun laughing at both my parents =]
"I will go to mission trip on china 9/20/09--9/30/09 I also have to go to Nashville 9/17--/9/20/09 It is litter too much for me but I do not have choice this time September 3, 2009, 11:10 pm I am still practicing computer ha ha ha….. Good nightt"
A tidbit of my mom. She seriously cracks me up. I have so much fun laughing at both my parents =]
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Dying is hard.
It's better to love, than to be right.
Dang. Is that profound or what? Read it again.
Pamela said that to me once in passing, about what she was learning. What an amazing mentor I have. She doesnt ever try to teach me, but she just loves on me and has relationship with me. And I learn so much.
Haha. Actually she says a lot of one-liners that to me are like earth-shattering. HAHA. No joke. I'll give you a little taste.
"Sometimes, people can be so 'heavenly-minded' that they're no earthly good."
O_O
See where your mind takes you on that one. But dont get it twisted. Either of the bolds, please.
Hehe. Anyway. These days. Seriously, what is going on these days? In the hills, in my mind ._. I feel like God is really purging me. Refining me through the fires, literally and spritually. Challenging me a lot invidually and with people. That first bold, "better to love than to be right" always comes up in my mind because I am naturally like a BIG judger and with that comes the sin of being easily stumbled. And then the whole how to love in truth mystery always comes up, how do you balance it? I have learned personally that I (and many others) are really more focused on the 'truth' and not enough on LOOOOVE! We think we're loving by giving a dose of the truth, but we're not really lovin'. AND in doing so we're probably not delivering the truth very well either -_- And thats the whole point right? That's what really matters, a love that's effective. SO, I have discovered that the best way to do this "love with truth" IS..
...to just love.
AND
KNOW the truth for yourself. And AS you are loving, should God give you an opportunity to share the truth, then you can obey and be bold and deliver that truth. And God is pleased =]
Yes. So perhaps the title of this blog should really be "Loving is hard."
Nah
Dang. Is that profound or what? Read it again.
Pamela said that to me once in passing, about what she was learning. What an amazing mentor I have. She doesnt ever try to teach me, but she just loves on me and has relationship with me. And I learn so much.
Haha. Actually she says a lot of one-liners that to me are like earth-shattering. HAHA. No joke. I'll give you a little taste.
"Sometimes, people can be so 'heavenly-minded' that they're no earthly good."
O_O
See where your mind takes you on that one. But dont get it twisted. Either of the bolds, please.
Hehe. Anyway. These days. Seriously, what is going on these days? In the hills, in my mind ._. I feel like God is really purging me. Refining me through the fires, literally and spritually. Challenging me a lot invidually and with people. That first bold, "better to love than to be right" always comes up in my mind because I am naturally like a BIG judger and with that comes the sin of being easily stumbled. And then the whole how to love in truth mystery always comes up, how do you balance it? I have learned personally that I (and many others) are really more focused on the 'truth' and not enough on LOOOOVE! We think we're loving by giving a dose of the truth, but we're not really lovin'. AND in doing so we're probably not delivering the truth very well either -_- And thats the whole point right? That's what really matters, a love that's effective. SO, I have discovered that the best way to do this "love with truth" IS..
...to just love.
AND
KNOW the truth for yourself. And AS you are loving, should God give you an opportunity to share the truth, then you can obey and be bold and deliver that truth. And God is pleased =]
Yes. So perhaps the title of this blog should really be "Loving is hard."
Nah
Monday, August 31, 2009
All fired out
These fires... they're making me crazy. I seriously had a little crazy time in my car last night trying to figure out where to go. And the combination of not getting enough sleep the night before + seriously needing to start my period + the news + the crazy sky looking like atomic bombs went off and the mountains looking like volcanoes + my crazy mind + my capacity to feel brokenness in this world + listening to Jesus music = mini emotional breakdown HAHAHA. I was a hot mess, crying and laughing as i was driving. Crying because I'd get overwhelmed by everything and then laughing thinking "wow. I'm being crazy. HAHA calm down.. its not even bad" LOL
But thank you Jesus for delivering me into a safe place. First into hope and reassurance of God's sovereignty. Over all and always. Second I am very thankful for people who can really remind me of God's love and goodness, in tiny and big ways. Thank you to everyone for housing me and thank you to those who comforted me when i was being mad. haha. we can look like Maya from heroes together. AHAHA
Most people dont even know/care really about what's happening. But its crazy. People are losing their homes. Some people are watching their homes burn. And then all of a sudden i thought about homeless people. How empty they must feel not belonging, displaced. Not belonging to a place, and some not belonging to people. What a deep sadness. Then I thought how amazing it is that I do belong somewhere, not merely a home but a heavenly place. I belong in heaven.
Seriously. Who am i to have this hope. And I was reminded last night as I was talking to a sister, who am I for God to intervene and save me from sin when it says how God gave some over to their sins. It really is amazing and unexplainable grace.
O man... blogging makes me think of more to blog about. HAHA more later.
But thank you Jesus for delivering me into a safe place. First into hope and reassurance of God's sovereignty. Over all and always. Second I am very thankful for people who can really remind me of God's love and goodness, in tiny and big ways. Thank you to everyone for housing me and thank you to those who comforted me when i was being mad. haha. we can look like Maya from heroes together. AHAHA
Most people dont even know/care really about what's happening. But its crazy. People are losing their homes. Some people are watching their homes burn. And then all of a sudden i thought about homeless people. How empty they must feel not belonging, displaced. Not belonging to a place, and some not belonging to people. What a deep sadness. Then I thought how amazing it is that I do belong somewhere, not merely a home but a heavenly place. I belong in heaven.
Seriously. Who am i to have this hope. And I was reminded last night as I was talking to a sister, who am I for God to intervene and save me from sin when it says how God gave some over to their sins. It really is amazing and unexplainable grace.
O man... blogging makes me think of more to blog about. HAHA more later.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Thursday, August 20, 2009
OMGOSH!
Wow. I know I wrote a tidbit about this on my facebook status but that little line is just not enough to express how i feel right now...
So whenever people would gather around and start talking about all their favorite childhood shows I would hesitate before asking about these certain ones. But I'd always ask JUUST in case someone knew what i was talking about. However, I am left disappointed each time. But now..alas. I've discovered them on youtube!!! AMAZING!
If you've ever heard about my childhood stories with Eumi, then you are bound to have heard the one about us pretending to be koalas and climbing up our couch and eating geem (seaweed) that was sticking out of our blinds (which of course we strategically placed beforehand). Well here it is.. the show that inspired it all, that NO one seems to recall
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oEZVaD1psOE
Youtube is amazing. After this one I found all these other ones that I had thought I dreamt up but no..its real, so real.
Like this one..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6HUedbFa9A&NR=1
the scene at 35 sec with the little person on the bunches of grapes. That image has been burned into my brain for YEARS. And I seriously thought I might've made it up but then I found it! O_O
And eeguh..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LAphcvZaS8I&feature=related
This was the "other" knome show.. or little guy with a pointy hat show.. HAHAAH omgosh
And then of course there was this freaky thing...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FmgmXgoBZFo
but anyway...
Dang. I am pretty satisfied right now. The comments on some of these videos are so hilarious.
"i could so cry...i didnt even know that anyone would have this!! "
"Ommmg. Nobody ever remembers this show! "
"I remember I would watch this and Noozles all the time when I was a kid. Ah the memories..."
Sigh. I am not alone.
So whenever people would gather around and start talking about all their favorite childhood shows I would hesitate before asking about these certain ones. But I'd always ask JUUST in case someone knew what i was talking about. However, I am left disappointed each time. But now..alas. I've discovered them on youtube!!! AMAZING!
If you've ever heard about my childhood stories with Eumi, then you are bound to have heard the one about us pretending to be koalas and climbing up our couch and eating geem (seaweed) that was sticking out of our blinds (which of course we strategically placed beforehand). Well here it is.. the show that inspired it all, that NO one seems to recall
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oEZVaD1psOE
Youtube is amazing. After this one I found all these other ones that I had thought I dreamt up but no..its real, so real.
Like this one..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6HUedbFa9A&NR=1
the scene at 35 sec with the little person on the bunches of grapes. That image has been burned into my brain for YEARS. And I seriously thought I might've made it up but then I found it! O_O
And eeguh..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LAphcvZaS8I&feature=related
This was the "other" knome show.. or little guy with a pointy hat show.. HAHAAH omgosh
And then of course there was this freaky thing...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FmgmXgoBZFo
but anyway...
Dang. I am pretty satisfied right now. The comments on some of these videos are so hilarious.
"i could so cry...i didnt even know that anyone would have this!! "
"Ommmg. Nobody ever remembers this show! "
"I remember I would watch this and Noozles all the time when I was a kid. Ah the memories..."
Sigh. I am not alone.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Madness
Hmm. So much change in such a short time no? I dont know. HAHA
Well. I am now officially serving at youth group in church! =O Yep I ate durian wafer and burped up gas for an entire day at the retreat last weekend. LOL. What has God gotten me into? Haha but seriously I dont think anyone but me knows how much grace is in my serving at church. But thank you God, redeemer of all things.
The STSMers are BACK!! Man. They were so blessed. How do I know? Cus I've only heard "the faintest whispers of how great You are" and it's been a crazy blessing to me already. I've only had crumbs but they're tasty!
....
Wow. I totally went on a yogurtree break while writing this and now I dont remember what else I had to say. Until next time...
Well. I am now officially serving at youth group in church! =O Yep I ate durian wafer and burped up gas for an entire day at the retreat last weekend. LOL. What has God gotten me into? Haha but seriously I dont think anyone but me knows how much grace is in my serving at church. But thank you God, redeemer of all things.
The STSMers are BACK!! Man. They were so blessed. How do I know? Cus I've only heard "the faintest whispers of how great You are" and it's been a crazy blessing to me already. I've only had crumbs but they're tasty!
....
Wow. I totally went on a yogurtree break while writing this and now I dont remember what else I had to say. Until next time...
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Miss Dependent
I have officially moved back home for the first time since moving to Tujunga. HAHA I think because I totally expected like the worst, I'm SLOWLY discovering the perks.
perk#1 The first night I moved in I said to my mom "Umma! I'm living here now! For a year!" And as I was leaving her room she said "I'm happy" HAHA aw sweet mother =]
perk#2 I like knowing that there is someone in the house sleeping every night
perk#3 Even though I really dont like it being TOO quiet during the day, its really nice at night.
Yes..that's all i can think of for now. AHAH for sure there are some things that I miss a lot about college life. BUT I'm looking at the brightside =]
Speaking of moving. Moving FORWARD!
So part of living in in Tujunga means I've been driving alot these days. And you know what that means..LOUD singing. AHAHA jk. But I have a lot of time to reflect as well. And I really think it's interesting that EVERYONE is gone. Or was at some point during this summer. My mini-theme for the summer became "miss independent" LOL not by choice really. No but by HIS choice. And the theme I'm realizing is really Miss DEPENDENT on God. I think God really wants me to realize just how DEPENDABLE He is.
I guess I will share a tidbit of something I realized in Sweden now. During my trip I thought alot about Zimbabwe and about being alone. I felt super alone in Sweden. Not like sad and lonely, but alone. And I asked Pamela if maybe I could bring someone to Zimbabwe with me. HAHA i duno just advertise around and see if anybody might be convicted to go too. But I'm pretty sure that would'nt have happened anyway. BECAUSE that same night in Sweden God showed me what was really going on in my heart and basically what I thought was that if I went to Africa by myself I would feel so sad and lonely, that Holy Spirit wouldn't be enough, wouldn't be my comforter. He'd be too busy filling the "charismatic" people and I'd just feel empty. And so I had to repent. Forgive me God for thinking that you're stingy, that you hold back. One thing Pamela said to me that rocked me was "Eurri, do you know that you can have as much of God as you want" DANG. All my life I had this passive beggar mentality of "oh IF God gives me something i'll take it." But when she said that, it put it all on me. I cant plead ignorance and say "God you never showed yourself to me or gave me this" It's now just about how much of God DO I want?
Crazy huh?
And then I think after that I got scared. I did the Heisman on God. AHAHA jk. But I really kept him at an arm's distance =I
Then another while later... I was talking to a sister <3 who shared with me what she was learning. And she said that people always get so initimidated when thinking about giving our EVERYTHING to God. But God doesnt demand all of that. He just wants our heart. Wow.
So back to the point. All these things were quite spread out in time. And as you can tell from my recent entry I was still in the flesh. But God is so faithful. And He always proves Himself. Man. It's your kindness Lord that leads us to repentance, foreals. God wants me to see how Dependable He really is. Awesome friend, awesome lover, awesome Lord. I want to see it.
Open my eyes to see
perk#1 The first night I moved in I said to my mom "Umma! I'm living here now! For a year!" And as I was leaving her room she said "I'm happy" HAHA aw sweet mother =]
perk#2 I like knowing that there is someone in the house sleeping every night
perk#3 Even though I really dont like it being TOO quiet during the day, its really nice at night.
Yes..that's all i can think of for now. AHAH for sure there are some things that I miss a lot about college life. BUT I'm looking at the brightside =]
Speaking of moving. Moving FORWARD!
So part of living in in Tujunga means I've been driving alot these days. And you know what that means..LOUD singing. AHAHA jk. But I have a lot of time to reflect as well. And I really think it's interesting that EVERYONE is gone. Or was at some point during this summer. My mini-theme for the summer became "miss independent" LOL not by choice really. No but by HIS choice. And the theme I'm realizing is really Miss DEPENDENT on God. I think God really wants me to realize just how DEPENDABLE He is.
I guess I will share a tidbit of something I realized in Sweden now. During my trip I thought alot about Zimbabwe and about being alone. I felt super alone in Sweden. Not like sad and lonely, but alone. And I asked Pamela if maybe I could bring someone to Zimbabwe with me. HAHA i duno just advertise around and see if anybody might be convicted to go too. But I'm pretty sure that would'nt have happened anyway. BECAUSE that same night in Sweden God showed me what was really going on in my heart and basically what I thought was that if I went to Africa by myself I would feel so sad and lonely, that Holy Spirit wouldn't be enough, wouldn't be my comforter. He'd be too busy filling the "charismatic" people and I'd just feel empty. And so I had to repent. Forgive me God for thinking that you're stingy, that you hold back. One thing Pamela said to me that rocked me was "Eurri, do you know that you can have as much of God as you want" DANG. All my life I had this passive beggar mentality of "oh IF God gives me something i'll take it." But when she said that, it put it all on me. I cant plead ignorance and say "God you never showed yourself to me or gave me this" It's now just about how much of God DO I want?
Crazy huh?
And then I think after that I got scared. I did the Heisman on God. AHAHA jk. But I really kept him at an arm's distance =I
Then another while later... I was talking to a sister <3 who shared with me what she was learning. And she said that people always get so initimidated when thinking about giving our EVERYTHING to God. But God doesnt demand all of that. He just wants our heart. Wow.
So back to the point. All these things were quite spread out in time. And as you can tell from my recent entry I was still in the flesh. But God is so faithful. And He always proves Himself. Man. It's your kindness Lord that leads us to repentance, foreals. God wants me to see how Dependable He really is. Awesome friend, awesome lover, awesome Lord. I want to see it.
Open my eyes to see
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